Anita Mitiฤ and Vesa Bashota are Fulbright students studying at the Bush School of Government & Public Service at Texas A&M University. Mitiฤ is pursuing her Master of International Affairs degree in national security and diplomacy; and Bashota, also in the Master of International Affairs degree program, is studying international development and economic policy.
By Anita Mitiฤ and Vesa Bashota
Vesa Bashota, an Albanian from Kosovo, and Anita Mitic, a Serb from Serbia, currently live in Texas as Fulbright students. For most, we make for an improbable duo, but for us it was an instant connection that has weathered a pandemic, the first year of graduate school, two hurricane seasons, and a meeting between our two countries in the White House.
Soon after we first met at the Fulbright studentsโ orientation in Nevada, we went on a trip to attend a Texas-style Oktoberfest near San Antonio. We took an Uber, along with our American friend Tyler, and we were enjoying the scenery in silence. The ride was long, and the full moon was shining. Out of nowhere, Vesa said, โI swear, every time I look at the full moon from the car, I remember the night my family and I fled Kosovo during the war in 1999. I was only three years old, but I vividly remember looking at the moon and thinking, When will all this be over?โ
That sentence opened a difficult and sincere conversation about our experiences during the war, with Vesa being in Kosovo at the onset and then escaping as a refugee, while Anita was in Belgrade during the bombing. There was something cathartic about this conversation, which strangely made us feel more connected than divided.
Understanding each otherโs experiences and being able to empathize are at the heart of our unique friendship.
Understanding each otherโs experiences and being able to empathize are at the heart of our unique friendship. When we arrived at the festival, Tyler was in awe, and our Uber driver confessed it was the most interesting conversation she had ever heard while driving.
BFFs, roommates with a twist
Having an instant connection and becoming best of friends instantly wasnโt strange for us. Anita has many Albanian friends and has been to Prishtina several times. Vesa is open to new people, regardless of their origins, and has worked with the Serbian community in Kosovo. Now both of us are known in school as an inseparable duoโor as our friends like to call us: Double Trouble.
For months, we laughed at peopleโs reactions when weโd tell them where weโre from. Some were shocked, some laughed, and some were visibly uncomfortable, but the general response was surprise.
After that initial trip, we began spending a lot of time together, bonding over highly inappropriate jokes, serious conversations about life and men, and our shared outlook on the peaceful future of the region. The problems we find ourselves in are so often similar, and that serves as a good reminder that weโre both human beings at the end of the day.
We spent a month traveling throughout the southern US without an argument. Weโre convinced we jinxed 2020 because of all the fun we had on New Yearโs Eve in Miami. Now we are roommates, and despite all the controversy surrounding our friendship, we make it work.
We are living proof that friendship based on not just accepting differences but exploring them and having open and honest discussions about what has happened in the pastโall with a good dose of mutual respectโare possible.
Sometimes, we stay up late challenging each otherโs opinions regarding politics between our countriesโand those are not easy conversations to have at 2 a.m. โฆ or ever. But being open-minded is key to understanding where those opinions are coming from. On the lighter side, we use a strange mix of English, Serbian, and Albanian words daily. In our apartment, itโs not unusual to hear something like: โHey, check fijoka for the scissors.โ
From the personal to the political
We donโt intend to draw parallels between our lives and the political situation between our countries. Clearly, things are much more complicated than a Serb and an Albanian finding a way to live together 10,000 km away from their homes. But weโd like to emphasize that given our long history of hostilities, the war in 1999, and todayโs tense relations, the most likely scenario is that we would never meet. The far less likely scenario would see us become such close friends.
Our societies are so divided and disconnected that our story is worth telling. It would be a shame if such a friendship never occurred, and it wouldnโt have if Vesa werenโt open to befriending Serbs or Anita thought of Albanians in the way many others do in her country. None of this would exist, and our lives would be denied this beautiful, enriching friendship.
We are living proof that friendship based on not just accepting differences but exploring them and having open and honest discussions about what has happened in the pastโall with a good dose of mutual respectโare possible. And maybe this is something our states should take into account when theyโre sitting at the negotiating table. In a sense, our friendship represents what could be between our countries.
As another day in Texas comes to a close, Vesa retires to her room, saying, โLaku noฤ,โ and Anita replies โNatรซn e mirรซ.โ
This article was originally published by kosovotwopointzero.com
